School systems


I cant believe what the school system lets or will do to let a failing student do to be passed to the next grade.
I have a grandchild in the 4 th grade. Hes failing two subjects all year. Insay hold him back and let him learn that he cant skate thru life.
The school now will place him in a special class so he'll do better. He already has a tutor to help him and thats not working. Then if that doesn't work 2 weeks of summer school. What will he learn in 2 weeks that he doesn't all year.
His parents cried he cant be left behind. I said better to do it now than in high school.
It just burns my butt that this stuff happens. I guess next they'll hand out participation trophies for just showing up.
I know teachers have a hard job. Im not blaming them, just the system and parents.


Summer school would be the answer if it was longer than 2 weeks. His parents dont want to spend 175$ and him not pass. Its also interferes with their vacation. I told them which is more important his education or a trip to the beach.
Then they cry its not fair for him to miss vacation or repeat the 4th grade.


An education is more important than vacation. Life isn't fair and just how it is. How fair will it be when the kid graduates and can't afford to go on vacation as an adult because it wasn't fair to hold them back. My kids know that their most important "job" is grades, and then chores until they move out. I tell them if they are to lazy to try their best at school or do chores properly they won't have a very good job in the future because these habits will follow them into their family life and work life. Each semester I give the kid with the highest GPA $100. This little bit of money sure helps to get them to work toward the best grades they can get. I do other things for them as well of they were struggling with something or doing bad and they figure it out or bring their grade up. When it comes to failing grades and not doing homework they miss out on family activities. There are numerous times that one of the four have missed out on going to the state fair, family vacation, weekend trips etc. I stick to it and they know the rules and consequences of breaking them.
Is your grandson big, strong and athletic for his age? Is he the kid every coach wants for youth football or baseball? We live in the sec. We always have a few boys in our area who are 6 feet tall and over 200 pounds in the 6th grade. They are failed on purpose so that they are even bigger and stronger in the 10th grade. After the first failure the school administrators make it impossible for them to fail and be ineligible to play football. The coaches have these kids spotted in elementary school. Could this be happening to your grandson? Have you sat down away from distractions and had him read to you to see what his reading skills are? Have you had his vision checked by a ophthalmologist or a optometrist? Has he taken tests for learning disabilities? Now is the time to do the diagnostics to figure out why he is having difficulty in school before something undiagnosed destroys his future.


Dawg 89
being the grandparent makes it even harder.
your input is not always accepted .
For what its worth I failed spelling and reading in fifth grade already had decided I was going to be the next Smoky Yunick. summer school 2 days a week for a month something clicked and on we went.
the real problems not a poor paying job that at least would be a productive person in society.
Problems with the police/ penitentiary are real and happen to good families.
seems extreme at 4th grade but 2 weeks now vs the alternative is a bargain.
best of luck.


No he just doesn't want to take part in anything. His parents are way over protective. He doesn't want to play any sports because according to him, he'll get dirty or hurt. I've taken to the track and all he wants is to go get his tablet. When he comes over that tablet is all he wants.
I don't know what else I can do. I've tried to get my step daughter to let him do things but it's like talking to a brick a
wall. I guess I could Dr. Phill.
It just hurts me to see this, and knowing if things don't change he's going to have it worse the older he gets.


Dawg 89
There are studies on the use of cell phones and tablets on you children.
the conclusion was it causes problems with learning.
I see people taking the children shopping while holding the equipment up so they can play games or watch cartoons. Even I can see that that's no good.

I see it with my own grand kids , though the parents do limit the total time allowed.
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Does he go to church? Is he involved in church? Church activities can help. Spending lots of time with him will help. If you spend lots of time with him one on one, he will start really talking to you about what is wrong. Make sure nobody is molesting him or bullying him. Take him to a Brazilian Jui Jitsu school with a direct lineage to the Gracies or one of the Japanese originators. It will be expensive but good jui jitsu instructors will bring him out of the funk because of the close contact while rolling. Karate will not help him as quickly. The jui jitsu will bring him out quicker mentally than anything else. They are very patient and know how to help kids like this.


Yes he goes to church, but he doesn't associate with anyone or want to take part with any antivity. No he not being bullied or molested. I've offered to pay for him to play baseball, but he say no.
The main problem is his over protective mom. He was born 3 months early and she babies him. His teachers keeps saying he'll do better. No one will hold him responsible for his actions, they just let him and let him get away with it.
The only interest he has in is his tablet.


Dawg 89
Step on it . Harsh
I know. Enroll in ju jitso with him. Good for both of you.
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The time spent on tablets and cell phones is the worst thing that has ever happened to kids. They would rather pretend to do something (gaming) than to actually go do something real. When my brother wants to go water skiing with his boys they don't even look away from the screen when they say no thanks.
Its gotta start at home. My kids play tablets and video games but after a hr or so i tell them to turn it off. Make them go outside if its nice out. But again it starts at home nothing will get better until mom and dad step up.


Could not agree more with posts 4 and 5 above. His parents need realize what's important RIGHT NOW! Letting this situation slide can cripple his future. At a minimum, to get an idea of what may be going on, you can sit down with him for a few minutes and see if he can actually read at the level he should achieve right now.

As an aside, My buddy's son learned to read beyond his grade level quite early because he loved racing; each week I dropped off the current issue of a regional racing pub I get called Area Auto Racing News, and he wanted to read it cover to cover. Any trick like that to improve reading will help with all subjects. If his parents won't help, good luck doing what you can.


He's reading on his grade level but his main problem is he wants to be the first one done. He has trouble with open book test because of this. His teacher has said so. He just needs to slow down.
Then when this happened at the start of the year nothing was said.
You know as a parent you can go talk to the teachers but they don't really care. They have so long to spend on a subject and then move on. I ran into this problem when one of my boys was in middle school. I asked the teacher in inform me about he grades weekly. That didn't work so I went to the principal. Finally I had him moved to a different teacher and he got it.
This has even brought up to his parents and teacher but they say that it will embarrass him and he'll get. Thats no child left behind theory. I wish I could have him come live with me. I know things would be different.


New member
Unfortunately society has changed. Kids are not kids like we remember anymore. If they don't have a cell phone in 7th grade or even earlier they feel like outcasts. Strict limits on screen time are necessary. Tablets, cell phones, Xboxes are the worst damn thing ever for young developing minds. Kids don't develop the social skills they need to be successful in life.
Physical activity is what they need. Sports are a great outlet but not all kids are going to be athletes. Martial arts are great for kids that age. They get physical activity, learn discipline and build self confidence. I highly recommend it but research the dojo first and talk to people that go there. Swimming is also a good option. How about fishing? Need to find a way to break him out of his shell
Good luck Gramps. I went thru all of this with my 15 year old. It's hard enough to raise a kid these days when you are a parent. All you can do is be a good grandpa and try to interest him in doing things with you and give him good memories.