Good evening all,
As I sit on this West bound plane somewhere over the Rocky's at 34,000 feet, I figured now was as good of a time as any to put some of my self-torment and inner thoughts on this "Karting Life" we all share to some point or degree.
Imagine my surprise when I opened Bob's upon my arrival to find an earlier post titled, "When is it time to hang it up?". While it's somewhat similar to why I came here to post it is also a bit different in a few regards,
Growing up karting at Willowdell, Ohio I first hit the track in 1987 while staying a summer in Ohio with my grandparents when we lived in Florida. My cousin, Jeff Wright, put me in his Margay chassis with T2 tires and with the smell of the alky, I was hooked as soon as the thing fired up to life.
Now at age 38 with two teenage sons and a two year old daughter, a corporate job as the Vice President of a very large corporation and very little free time to do anything I find myself in a constant inner struggle which up until this point was difficult to share with anyone. A lot of people just can't wrap their heads around the addiction we have to this Karting Life and therefore it's hard to have just anybody give their thoughts and opinions on the subject.
After racing on and off for over 25 years, it's easy to step back and see the pros and cons of both staying in karting and getting out and walking away for good. In the 80's we raced for fun and something to do on the weekend with Dad and friends. Willowdell was just one of those tracks that had an environment and soul all its own. It was like stepping into a whole different world for those 12 hours. Maybe I remember it differently because I was young and a young mind is easily overtaken by the awe and distortion of how large something truly is.
In the 90's and 2000's we ran very competitively. Traveling all across Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, Florida, Alabama and Mississippi racing as many races as we could find. Just Dad and me riding down the highways having fun, often arguing and late nights of me sleeping on his lap while he drove us home at 3am. It was a great adventure and I couldn't have asked for a better companion along the way. I still credit spending all those weekends at the tracks with my Dad for the fact that I don't drink, smoke or party because as a teen, I had more important things to do and I had a Dad to keep me busy.
Three years ago I started dating my fiancé and we were driving through Ft. Wayne with my boys in the back seat when we passed the Coliseum. At this point I had been out of karting for almost three to four years and only logged maybe two visits to a kart track during that time. (I knew if I went back, the urge would find it's way into my blood again.) As we passed the building we couldn't help but notice all the trailers and rigs in the lot and she asked, "I wonder what is going on in there tonight." and then it dawned on me, THE RUMBLE!!!
We went into the building, watched all the races and she says to me, "This is what you used to do? I like it, you should get back into it again." That's all I needed to hear because it wasn't a few weeks later and Dad and I had our own kart again. We ran that kart for a few months before I bought my Platinum, tons of tires, set up goodies, preps by the boat loads, tire resurfacer, KSR clone, carbon-fiber this and that and anything else I could get to make me faster.
Fast forward two years later and yes we did have a decent return from karting after being away for so long and for running a chassis on Burris that not too many other people run and therefore unlike the Slacks or Tritons, there isn't a lot of people to bounce set-up ideas or numbers off of. That same love of my life that talked be back into the seat absolutely HATES the very mention of anything remotely linked to karting.
She says that it costs too much money, takes too much time and keeps me away from the family for far too long both during the week and during the race day. She also wasn't very fond of the smell of goat-pee slowly creeping its way into our house from our trailer and through our garage.
Now I'm stuck with this inner struggle and it's only grown worse with the recent passing of Dad. Karting was "us". It's what we did together, it's what we loved together and sometimes it was even what kept us from talking some nights on the way home. I loved nothing more than coming down the front stretch and seeing Dad at the other end, smiling and enjoying his day at the track surrounded by friends and the smells and sounds of the track.
Should I feel guilty because I still want to race? Should I hang up my lifelong love to focus more on my family and my children? Does it make me a bad person, husband, father because I enjoy racing karts and spending my hard earned money on a hobby for only me to enjoy?
Anyone who knows my family knows that even though I'm a single-income family with six total mouths to feed, nobody goes without. Even with that being said, I can't help but feel guilty for taking time away from my kids childhood and money away from my family to do something that only I enjoy doing on the weekends.
Explaining it to her or the kids doesn't do any good. I race...that's what I do. Some people hunt, some fish, some paintball, some drink themselves to the grave, some go to strip bars, some snort or shoot up drugs but me....I race. Why is it that I'm the only one who doesn't see anything wrong with it and why is it that if it's alright to do; that I feel all this guilt inside for wanting to race again. I can't even bring myself to talk to her about it because I know how much she hates the idea.
Long story short, how do all you other guys cope with the give and take of family time, family feelings, etc...over your karting habit?
I miss my father and with no other hobbies to lean on, it's just a matter of time before I loose my mind amongst this inner struggle.
Thanks all.
As I sit on this West bound plane somewhere over the Rocky's at 34,000 feet, I figured now was as good of a time as any to put some of my self-torment and inner thoughts on this "Karting Life" we all share to some point or degree.
Imagine my surprise when I opened Bob's upon my arrival to find an earlier post titled, "When is it time to hang it up?". While it's somewhat similar to why I came here to post it is also a bit different in a few regards,
Growing up karting at Willowdell, Ohio I first hit the track in 1987 while staying a summer in Ohio with my grandparents when we lived in Florida. My cousin, Jeff Wright, put me in his Margay chassis with T2 tires and with the smell of the alky, I was hooked as soon as the thing fired up to life.
Now at age 38 with two teenage sons and a two year old daughter, a corporate job as the Vice President of a very large corporation and very little free time to do anything I find myself in a constant inner struggle which up until this point was difficult to share with anyone. A lot of people just can't wrap their heads around the addiction we have to this Karting Life and therefore it's hard to have just anybody give their thoughts and opinions on the subject.
After racing on and off for over 25 years, it's easy to step back and see the pros and cons of both staying in karting and getting out and walking away for good. In the 80's we raced for fun and something to do on the weekend with Dad and friends. Willowdell was just one of those tracks that had an environment and soul all its own. It was like stepping into a whole different world for those 12 hours. Maybe I remember it differently because I was young and a young mind is easily overtaken by the awe and distortion of how large something truly is.
In the 90's and 2000's we ran very competitively. Traveling all across Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, Florida, Alabama and Mississippi racing as many races as we could find. Just Dad and me riding down the highways having fun, often arguing and late nights of me sleeping on his lap while he drove us home at 3am. It was a great adventure and I couldn't have asked for a better companion along the way. I still credit spending all those weekends at the tracks with my Dad for the fact that I don't drink, smoke or party because as a teen, I had more important things to do and I had a Dad to keep me busy.
Three years ago I started dating my fiancé and we were driving through Ft. Wayne with my boys in the back seat when we passed the Coliseum. At this point I had been out of karting for almost three to four years and only logged maybe two visits to a kart track during that time. (I knew if I went back, the urge would find it's way into my blood again.) As we passed the building we couldn't help but notice all the trailers and rigs in the lot and she asked, "I wonder what is going on in there tonight." and then it dawned on me, THE RUMBLE!!!
We went into the building, watched all the races and she says to me, "This is what you used to do? I like it, you should get back into it again." That's all I needed to hear because it wasn't a few weeks later and Dad and I had our own kart again. We ran that kart for a few months before I bought my Platinum, tons of tires, set up goodies, preps by the boat loads, tire resurfacer, KSR clone, carbon-fiber this and that and anything else I could get to make me faster.
Fast forward two years later and yes we did have a decent return from karting after being away for so long and for running a chassis on Burris that not too many other people run and therefore unlike the Slacks or Tritons, there isn't a lot of people to bounce set-up ideas or numbers off of. That same love of my life that talked be back into the seat absolutely HATES the very mention of anything remotely linked to karting.
She says that it costs too much money, takes too much time and keeps me away from the family for far too long both during the week and during the race day. She also wasn't very fond of the smell of goat-pee slowly creeping its way into our house from our trailer and through our garage.
Now I'm stuck with this inner struggle and it's only grown worse with the recent passing of Dad. Karting was "us". It's what we did together, it's what we loved together and sometimes it was even what kept us from talking some nights on the way home. I loved nothing more than coming down the front stretch and seeing Dad at the other end, smiling and enjoying his day at the track surrounded by friends and the smells and sounds of the track.
Should I feel guilty because I still want to race? Should I hang up my lifelong love to focus more on my family and my children? Does it make me a bad person, husband, father because I enjoy racing karts and spending my hard earned money on a hobby for only me to enjoy?
Anyone who knows my family knows that even though I'm a single-income family with six total mouths to feed, nobody goes without. Even with that being said, I can't help but feel guilty for taking time away from my kids childhood and money away from my family to do something that only I enjoy doing on the weekends.
Explaining it to her or the kids doesn't do any good. I race...that's what I do. Some people hunt, some fish, some paintball, some drink themselves to the grave, some go to strip bars, some snort or shoot up drugs but me....I race. Why is it that I'm the only one who doesn't see anything wrong with it and why is it that if it's alright to do; that I feel all this guilt inside for wanting to race again. I can't even bring myself to talk to her about it because I know how much she hates the idea.
Long story short, how do all you other guys cope with the give and take of family time, family feelings, etc...over your karting habit?
I miss my father and with no other hobbies to lean on, it's just a matter of time before I loose my mind amongst this inner struggle.
Thanks all.
