Test Don't Guess
The single biggest reason for loosing valve seal is heat.
The hotter the engine gets the more chance you will have of loosing your valve seal.
The most likely valve & seat to loose its seal is the exhaust is because (duh) it gets hotter than the intake.
Aluminum melts at about 1220 degrees.
http://www.engineeringtoolbox.com/melting-temperature-metals-d_860.html
The exhaust gas temperature can easily get that hot.
We do not see the head melt but the aluminum will get softer and pliable around the exhaust area of the head.
This is why the head bolt looses it's tension after a while and should be occasionally re-torqued.
It is also a contributing factor for header bolt issues.
The spark plug is also installed in such a position and angel to pull on the aluminum around the exhaust valve seat.
When the aluminum deforms around the valve seat the valve seat will also deform slightly.
You can lap the valves for a very long time and it will not fix your leakage problem.
Recutting the valve seats with carbide cutters is the best way to fix a deformed valve seat. Then lap them lightly.
I prefer to refinish a used head over replacing it with a new one. It seems that once the head has been heated and cooled many times this issue is diminished. It seems that the head and valve seats settle into position and therefore it doesn't seem to happen as often or to the same degree it does on a new head.